Do I Have A Problem? Or Does The World Have A Problem?

“Turn off the lights, and turn off the shyness”
ohh Fall Out Boy with your itchy swift lyrics, your noise has caught my ear.
“Cause all of our moves make up for the silence”
How provocative.
I’m listening to "Of All The Gin Joints In All The World" on the mass hunt for a banner. Lake Effect Kids looks doll, and I’m irritated. You’d think that someone would jump at such an easy project… three words, and three to two colors, that’s it. This is brain surgery, and everyone needs some attention. I came home not too long ago, it looked like no one was home. Of course I could have rang the doorbell to check, but I’m unbearably inpatient, and my family is unbearably slow. So I ventured to the back. My dogs are barking up a storm, and Dannie, the oldest, jumped up on me and left a giant mud paw print on my shirt. If this wasn’t shitty conformist uniform, I would be close to slightly upset but looking into those big brown eyes could anyone get angry? Not me. Besides its not his fault. He’s muddy cause the neighbors are doing …something with their hose that’s making water overflow are garden. Geez, that particular couple has been on our case for years, now this? Yea us future hamburger flippers are terrible with our loud music, and our excitable dogs. But you? You elderly couple with your hostility, smelliness, and mud-making. You with the granddaughter that uses this weak, not so coincidental link as fuel to drive herself up to me in school and say hi. Gah, the nerve of that girl. “omg! You live behind my grandparents!” I’m sorry, have you not mentioned this before? I need to start avoiding the bathroom between 5th and 6th period. Call me anti social, but if your going to keep coming up to me, and we’re going to keep having this same stupid moment, than I don’t really want to talk to you anymore. Actually, I’d think that you should STOP coming up to me, so that we can STOP having this awkward silence. I don’t even know this poor girls name. I must sound bitchy, but this is how I feel, hear me out.
God is this the thing prohibiting me from socializing? My impatience? Or is this a matter of my shyness? What I’ve noticed is when I “turn off the shyness” its still irritating to talk to people. Because really, truly, and honestly I do not care how your day went, and no I am not doing anything after school, are you offering? Because I’m not taking. My experience is social situations are exhausting. I feel fake trying to be everyone who is so kind as to give me their worthless time and attention’s friend. I have had this problem for a while, and I told this to someone. This someone promptly told their girlfriend to say hi to me at school every chance they get. Damn these inconvenient correlations! I need to transfer schools. My sister says just to suck it up and be her friend, because Psycho (My friend of 5 years) can’t be my only friend for the rest of my high school experience. Well this is pretty sad, I’m being recommended to take whatever is given to me. But wait… don’t they say if you have one good friend you’re doing alright? That phrase doesn’t apply to me when I’m found alone another Friday night, how I like it. Beggars can’t be choosers I guess… but I’m not a beggar! Well… I do feel lonely on the odd occasion (blog that no one visits, hello) but I don’t feel that I should settle with just anyone that I can share a blank connection and a Oh My God How Can I Get Away From This Person Moment with. Tell me I’m not the only one who feels like this!? Okay guys, I really need your help… do I have a problem? Or does the world have a problem? I’ll give in to either or answer, but I need closer. Help me out?

P.S. I’m not a mean person in real life, and the way I feel is to certain persons fault. If you want to say hi to me (especially if you read this – wow!) than please do. I’m obliged, and a little flattered to respond. Especially other the internet were I'm not forced to respond when you send it.

Found raising = 0$ out of 50$... how am I going to do this?

QC: 1: Do I have a problem? Or does the world have a problem? 2: Any advise on how I should deal with situations like these?


with frustration and hope, from the smallish wave
lilwave //(^.\\\