The Same Old School-Year Resolution

Been listening to MTV's Back To School Playlist while avoiding the thought that school is coming up. Oxymoron? I think not! I start my 11th year in high school, and my second year at Sunset in 2 1/2 weeks. Its exciting. Not for any typical reasons, I just like staying productive, and I'm not good at staying in charge of that. It’s good to see people I like, and converse. It’s nice to be around people smarter than me, i.e teachers. It’s exciting because it is something new. But somehow, this time of year always brings a weird feeling in my stomach. A guttural rumble of unsure thoughts.
If you've read some of this blog, you might have picked up on the fact that I don't mix well with... well I call them normies. Those people, who's interests aren't very interesting, who's minds are fueled on a different goo that makes me yawn and yarn. I have friends, a hand full. But I always find time to feel lonely in the back of a classroom, or on the odd Saturday night. I guess there’s a part of me that has always and will always want to be like them. A lot of people understand what I'm saying, and diagnose the problem as a self-esteem issue. I concur!... what now?
They say talk to people, join clubs, strike up random conversations, and I always do. I make jokes about the uniform and how long I can get away with not wearing it, strike up conversations with people sitting at my lunch table, and I even tried to get my school to do a Battle of The Bands. But here is the year problem, I think: I make excuses; I get annoyed easily, and give up.
I want to make a promise to myself this year. I'm going to try harder to make friendships form, and make current bonds grow. I promise to not get discouraged so easy, and not get hurt when they seem to not be interested. I'm going to try to be more fearless.
Now I have made similar promises before, kind of how a druggie makes a promise to quite. Its more for the comfort of knowing I tried. This time I'm making this pact with more of a soft hold. I'm going to let it flow, and see if it works, and not be angry at myself if it doesn't. A more loving approach to the same old bullshit. In an over-stuffed school of thousands, there’s gotta be one expectable person. I'll keep you guys posted.

Question for the commenters: Are you also making moves to see a change this year? What’s your School-Year resolution?