A Night In Jesus's Precence (El Rey Jesus Friday night service, 9:00PM-? October 2nd)

First off, happy end of Ramadan everyone! First blog of October, hope everyone's pumped for Halloween. I know some people who are not.... Christians!

All jokes aside, this is the first post of a series of blogs following my search for Jesus. I'm not the religious type, so this is just my personal choice to better myself through some new perspectives.

Last night I went to a church to see if I could gain something from the experience. I gained a lot of positive, but the vibe at times seemed hostile towards me, who came (at first) as more of an observer.
To start at the beginning the reason I came with family-friend Anna to La Rey, a mostly Hispanic, Spanish speaking church, was because my new friend on my bus told me I'm going to Hell. This would offend average Joe, but I've been around Christians before, and laughed it off. I made a joke on how he spoke of praying and God, but then made a lot of vulgar statements. He asked me if I believe in God, I said no, and than he asked what do I believe in. I told him "a lot of things", and tried to explain what I think the "All That Is" of what he, and many other people say is "God". That's when he gave me the shit-face, and told me that I'm going to Hell when I die, and I'm not sure he was playing around. I know why he thought that, and continued the conversation. He told me that he goes to the same church my mother goes to, and that he's been going there for only 4 weeks, yet spoke of it with such passion. He had a hunch, and told me to come tonight, to the youth group where Pastor Frank spoke. What the hell, I see myself as an open minded person, I'll give it a shot.
It seemed like everything was at either extreme, really good or really bad. In the church, there seemed to be very humble individuals, who where very welcoming. It started with praise and warship as they called it, but it looked a lot like rocking out to their favorite songs. There was this one dude in the front who ran along the stage from one side to the other, headbanging, and jumping. 20 minutes in, this black clad, dread-locked individual was soaked in sweat. I didn't know if it would be appropriate to give the stage Devil horns, and scream "fuck yea!" to the guitarist, so I resisted.
At first I felt very much out of my element, Anna and her group brought me to the front of the stairs to the stage to watch the show and enjoy the music. The musicians weren't bad, the drummer brought good effect when the pastor came to preach. Pastor Frank kept the vibe going, preaching in a steady rhythm. He spoke of harmony, and love, the more beautiful side of Christianity. Then he made some comments that could have been taken as offensive to those who were not AS into it.
I almost thought he was speaking right at me (I'll admit to laughing a few times as people screamed out, and threw themselves on the floor, but you couldn't hear it over the music!) than I realized there was a few people behind me sitting, who weren't thrashing or raging in the name of God. He made two comments, that pegged them as the outsider, and said "this is not for you", in a way that was so blatantly negative. Maybe he was trying to get them out of their seats, but he was more effective in making them leave. It seemed unloving, and out of place, but no one but me seemed to take it that way when I was talking to the regular church-goers after the service.
Still, the energy in the room built up in ecstatic nostalgia. It reminded me of the rock concerts I've attended. People cried during the ballads, and they fist pumped during the faster jams. Anna told me that if I don't move, the Devil has me held. This was before she, and many others, fell to the floor crying, and screaming. I wonder if a mosh pit has ever started in a church.
What made me relax was how similar Christianity, and the Laws of The Universe are. Yea I said it. At one point I realized that no one was there for God, but rather what they could gain from being in this room. Which, to them was priceless. It was an outer body experience for the whole room. This is their venue, and the pastor was their rock star. It was being a part of something bigger than all of us, like being a fan, like alignment with Source. Source is their God, just like Alla is for the Muslims. The pastor said if you release, and feel good tonight than you will get all of your dreams to come true. That just a dream could feed a nation. He asked all of us if we felt that we were satisfied with what we've done with our lives, in other words if we were to die today, would we be o.k with it. Everyone in the room was young, so the majority of people where bound to raise their hand. It was close to the preachings of Abraham, and just like Abraham can seem arrogant in its teachings, so can Christians.
I teared up at one point, and was asked to stand at the front. The pastor prayed for me, witch I was, for the most part, O.K with. Then they started to heard those who where prayed over into a room to ask for our information. I felt imposed upon, and left. After the service, they chased me down. It was uncomfortable, and I told them. It seems like Jesus is an excuse to be rude. They insisted I come to a BBQ they where holding, kinda like the way time share people work. I told them I'm a strict vegetarian, and they told me to just bless my food. By that point, I was up and ready to leave.
In the car, me and Anna got into a conversation about music. She said, and I quote, "All music is from Satan." She told me that the Devil brought music with him when he rebelled from God, and that the church was trying to bring music to the good it should be. Mind you, me and Anna are not close, she does not know the music I listen to. But me equating the experience I just had with the power I feel when I watch musical acts offended her so deeply, that she spoke to me with such content. It was frustrating, because while I was waiting for the invitation slip to the BBQ, I heard a preacher say "The devil will have you think Christians think they're so better". From the beginning I decided to take the passive road, tonight was not about my beliefs, so I sat back and let her ramble. At one point she contradicted herself, and I told her I don't understand. She told me "you wouldn't" and left it at that.
This morning, I feel a lot better about the whole thing. Its in the past, and really was worth it. Life is all about experience, and if you can learn and experience something new, take the opportunity. I don't hold anything that happened last night against Christians as a whole, I'm just not joining the fan club any time soon. Its not my life style, and just because I don't fall under any category of religion doesn't make my lifestyle, or any person's lifestyle, wrong. Your not going to Hell kids, just enjoy your life with no chains. Don't hold yourself down by holding too tightly to ANY beliefs. In the end, we have this over-developed brain for the purpose of question everything, and driving ourselves mad with what we can't see. Just sit back, and make sure to never take yourself to seriously.


Questions for the commenters: What do you believe in? Jesus a false icon, or are you on the Spiritualist train? Are you the praying type, or is science your squeeze?

with a softer heart from the smallish wave
lilwave

“Whitey” (Essay On Albinism and Being A Albino)

I was only a freak at school. Only a freak when I remembered or when other younger kids at banks hid behind their parent’s paint leg from my red hued Nystagmus eyes. I don’t blame them. This condition seems like something out of a low budget 70’s horror film. Pained by sunlight, I prefer night. I’m bone white and red eyed.

At home I was treated equally. I could forget more often what I am, but not at school. I wasn’t allowed to retrieve anything, or participate in feeding the class hamster like other students where. Though I tried to be understanding, little things like not being picked to read in class hurt more than any of the special treatment, much of which I was mocked for.

It’s the divide and conquer mentality. Make someone feel like an outsider, lesser than, a freak. Whitey, Polar Bear, cracker, floating cloths. All those words combined didn’t do as much damage as picking up their treys and moving to a further seat. I feel bad for that girl, but I guess the last thing she needed was more pity. She got her Pokémon cards stolen, and her parents very mad. They didn’t know they had to beat her with branches and juvenile feet for them.

All my friends would either move, or buy into the social rank system. I made my first friend in 6^th grade. She started the abusive cycle by slapping me over 5 dollars. I would later speak out about her random violent outbursts, but she was just as good as I at being a victim.

I spent my middle school years trying to find myself. My place, not so much a category than the person I am. So that I could be in the place I want, with the people I like. I tested dangerous waters, but none really stuck. By the summer of my 8^th grade year, I felt fucked, for what seemed like, no reason. I had been dealing with an underlying depression for years, but now I felt like I was drowning. A chaser to teachers who had never dealt with the burden of a visually impaired student of my degree, and my abusive chemical friendship, I also experienced a rollercoaster home life with a troubled father in the center of it. But he had left, and for the first time there seemed to be peace at home. I was leaving to an academy school to study to be a vet. Away from that bitch and to more mature, hopefully understanding peers. Hey, maybe I could find someone to build a healthy relationship with. I took tests from independent groups who evaluated my vision, and gave me the go ahead to move on with my career plans. Then why now were my four walls closing in on me? The last few months played out in bad quality, blurred from self prescribed pills, but still no sleep, CSI walls, and bad attendance.

July… August… September… She said “it’s not just a little disability… it’s a big one” I have amazing foresight. She apologized, shook my hand, and just like that I was useless again. Nothing going for me, and stuck in a school that reminded me daily of my short comings. It all hit me hard, and all at once. Incapable, that’s what I was suffering with. Incapable of reading without assistance, ordering from the behind the counter menu, of driving, of being the person I wanted to be so badly. This lone factor in my life felt like the biggest peg in my coffin. I have never been the type to contemplate suicide, but at that point I had no identity other than the tag society stapled on my ear, and I held tight to it.

Over the years I had developed an anxiety disorder that manifested itself as a feeling of not-all-there. When this happened, I drifted away and put on my headphones. Nothing made me feel more alive than music. Those where the true moments of clarity. Some people look for religion. I look for artists. Some look to the Bible, I look for lyrics. The venue is my church, and my musical idles are my preachers. I learned about none violence and freedom. Most of all, I found myself. Somewhere amongst a crowd of thousands. I clawed my way out and learned to live. I began to play music, my main outlet when I can’t breathe through my words. I am capable. Capable of creating and learning. Capable of moving and inspiring, having instant reaction. Even making friends through what I do that understand, and even forget, just like my family does.

Maybe, and this is just a thought, but perhaps I was always capable. I just never allowed myself to take the chances. Maybe the most detrimental to my own stability is not what others believe I am but my own habit of considering their opinion. Maybe if you measure the usefulness of your own existence but what you can’t do, then you’ll never be happy. I’m not as fucked as I think I am.

Albinism is a genetic disorder that affects the melanin pigment levels in the skin, hair, and eyes, and in rare cases, just the eyes. It’s a recessive gene; someone who the gene is active in cannot have offspring with the active gene. Meaning albinos don’t have albino babies. A common misunderstanding is that people and animals that are albinoistic have red eyes, but really what you are seeing is the true portal to their inner colors. From a lack of pigmentation, the blood vessels are visible through the eyes. That lack of protective melanin also make us sensitive to sunlight, and albinos generally deal with vision problems. Another comment misconception is that albinos go blind after a certa8in age, also not true. The way that I see (and other albinos would agree) is NOT blurry. If you where looking at the finer details of a painting, you would probably squint, and turn the painting closer. That is the way I see. Like everything is a fine detail, too far to see.

In the media, people with albinism are usually the butt of the joke, or the ‘bad guy’. For example, “Me, Myself, and Irene”. The albino characters name is “Whitey” and “Casper”, which is offensive right off the bat. The movie mocks the character, and how he uses a bioptic (a telescopic lens mounted on glasses) a device that I even used for a period of time.

There is a deeper underlying problem, deeper than slap-stick comedy. It’s how we treat others. It took me a while to realize that all those attacks weren’t personal, or about who I am as a person, but rather the mentality our culture has adopted. Making someone an outsider, in order to boost their own ego, or their own standing in the social machine.

I don’t expect to have all the answers at 16, but I think I am successful at learning how to function almost at the level I will need to be able to move out of my mother’s house, which is more than most can say. But more so, I am successful at finding ways that will keep me afloat.

Post VMA Excitment (I LOVE YOU KANYE, YOU DOUCHE!)

Taylor Swift, after winning Best Female Videom was so surprised, and bashful, repeating for the 2nd time that night that she sings country music. You could have swore she half-expected someone to run on stage and steal her award... huh.
For those who live under a rock (and I guess, only emerge to read blogs) this is what happened
http://www.mtv.com/videos/misc/435995/taylor-swift-wins-best-female-video.jhtml#id=1620604
More funny than the moment itself, was probably Kanye's post VMA blog entry about the incident in ALL CAPS. Someone was anebriated... or caps crazy.

I'M SOOOOO SORRY TO TAYLOR SWIFT AND HER FANS AND HER MOM. I SPOKE TO HER MOTHER RIGHT AFTER AND SHE SAID THE SAME THING MY MOTHER WOULD'VE SAID. SHE IS VERY TALENTED! I LIKE THE LYRICS ABOUT BEING A CHEERLEADER AND SHE'S IN THE BLEACHERS! ........................ I'M IN THE WRONG FOR GOING ON STAGE AND TAKING AWAY FROM HER MOMENT!................. BEYONCE'S VIDEO WAS THE BEST OF
THIS DECADE!!!! I'M SORRY TO MY FANS IF I LET YOU GUYS DOWN!!!! I'M SORRY TO MY FRIENDS AT MTV. I WILL APOLOGIZE TO TAYLOR 2MRW. WELCOME TO THE REAL WORLD!!!! EVERYBODY WANNA BOOOOO ME BUT I'M A FAN OF REAL POP CULTURE!!! NO DISRESPECT BUT
WE WATCHIN' THE SHOW AT THE CRIB RIGHT NOW CAUSE ... WELL YOU KNOW!!!! I'M STILL HAPPY FOR TAYLOR!!!! BOOOYAAAWWWW!!!! YOU ARE VERY VERY TALENTED!!! I GAVE MY AWARDS TO OUTKAST WHEN THEY DESERVED IT OVER ME... THAT'S WHAT IT IS!!!!!!! I'M NOT CRAZY YALL, I'M JUST REAL. SORRY FOR THAT!!! I REALLY FEEL BAD FOR TAYLOR
AND I'M SINCERELY SORRY!!! MUCH RESPECT!!!!!

He felt so bad, I guesss this means the award showed didn't loose credibility over it. Listen, at this point we know how he gets. We can't get angry, because in the end, you KNOW you bought Love Lockdown. Besides, the merch that is going to come from this is going to put Poo-Girl to shame.
At the end of the night, if anyone noticed but me, influenced by Kanye, Lil Mama came on stage next to Jay Z and Alicia Keys. I thought there was going to be a purpose to her, but then she just stood there... I think MTV should incorperate invisable fences around their stage.
But I don't care that Taylor was to frazzled to have her moment, she didn't even know the names to the horses who carried her skinny as to the red carpet. So she named them "V" and "MA". Needless to say I'm not amused. The true hero of the night was Beryonce for being such a fucking lady. When she first showed up I litterally wowed at her beauty.

All and all, the MTV Video Music Awards was a fun night. Madonna killed that speech after the MJ tribute, which happened to kick as, and not because of Janet, but by the add of Janet. A collection of great performances like Empire State Of Mind, and East Jesus Nowhere, the night was ellectric (but no West Side Story). The best perfrormance of this years VMA's was Sober by Pink, THERE! I said it. Luckily for me, she didn't wear any corset. Instead, she wore the same dress Shakira wore (wait, that's not any better), sadly, she didn't fill it out the same way. She did, however, fill out a body suite because the bitch decided to do an acrobat's ACT! wow. How did she keep singing? Our little pop princes of the night. Sorry Gaga
In all seriuosness though, Lady Gaga put on a good show, but its going to take me a while to forgive her for coming on stage to win Best New Artist in a giant, used tampon. She changed (thank GOODNESS!) into a rat's nest. Pete introduced her for her perormance, and was wearing a shirt with Gabe Saporta's phone number on it.


question for the commenter: Agree, Pink took the night, performance wise? Love Kanye as much as me?

With a potty mouth, from the smallish wave
lilwave //(^.\\\

The VMA's (seems to always be on a school night, notice that?) Whitney Houston (pay your dues, youngsters!) and Idol Gets The Best Person For The Job

Tonight, we will all join in front of our TV screens to forget for X amount of hours, about a war, a rescission, and over-mounding homework to watch one of the most exciting nights of the year.

Preshow at 8:00pm, actually show starts off immediately afterward at 9:00pm, TODAY, Sunday 13th

Performances by Beyonce, Jay Z (owww! the power couple are going to kill it, but I wish Jay Z could bring Rihanna out to perform Run This Town with him... maybe if we prey... and go to church... and stop sinning) Lady GaGa, Pink (two years in a row, Pinky! WOOO! hopefully she does NOT perform Sober -_- that's enough of seeing her in a unappealing corset) Muse (AHHH!) Wale (who?) Green Day (*faints*) and much more. Like Taylor Swift, who is softening me up (my friend is going to be very excited to hear that). Fun people are going to present like Pete Wentz and Ne-Yo. Oh, and Shakira at midnight is going to transform to... well I don't really know anymore.

Just for fun, and to give sound to this blog entry, one of my favorite VMA performances.


I wonder if they are going to continue the West Side Story theme beyond the dazzling promos. Anyone else pumped to see Janet bomb this Micheal Jackson Tribute? She better blow shit up if they could make such a nice promo to it... and because its Micheal Jackson, and he died, and its still really sad... and not appropriate to joke about just yet. When it is I want to be the first to get that memo. Not to make fun of him, but to make fun of everyone else.
i

Tell me the winners list leak is a joke?! it must be a joke, come on people! IT JUST HAS TO BE! "Voting is closed for all categories except Best New Artist, which you can keep voting for even after the ceremony starts." That's what it says on MTV.com.

Whitney Houtson... she looks so purdy. Well then, don't we feel bad about the crack jokes?

Yea, swing the wings of that dress, girl! She's husky, handsome, and at 3 mins she does the pee-pee dance. Made you look back! haha, perfection.

The person replacing Paula Abdul on the American Idol judges’ panel will be none other than talk show host Ellen DeGeneres. yay
I'm not the biggest Idol fan, its one of those if its on, alright, if its not, I don't care to look shows for me. Now that Ellen is in the seat next to New Girl, Randy, and Tell-It-How-It-Be Simon I will deliberately watch the new season premiere in winter. She's going to bring humor, I predict... and maybe some of that same pep Paula brought. The one looming question in my head is whats ganna happen to Paula? probably go under the radar in just live life.
Ellen announcing the news on her Talk Show, Ellen.

Question for the commenters: what is your favorite VMA performance? Feel bad about the Whitney jokes you've made yet? Whats Ellen ganna bring to the Idol chair? You can Tweet me the answers

With popcorn ready, and a sculple to get the shells out my teeth, from the smallish wave
lilwave //(^.\\\

The Twitter Monster, Mitchel Musso Sings!?!? NeverShoutNever, Potential Future Interviews and Back To School

I didn't see it coming. Like the most agile of popular internet infections, it took over slow. Now I'm watching Its On With Alexa Chung on MTV and twittering... just like they want me to, and loving every minute of it. If you have dismissed twitter, chopping it up as a waste of your time, good chances are your right (where in life am I going to need to know what Pete Wentz is doing 24/7? never, but its entertaining when he tweets about the hilarious video for Headfirst Slide Into Cooperstown On A Bad Bet) But what on the internet is not a waste of your time? twitter is just lazy blogging. Support my sloth ways and follow me, I promise to keep it interesting with bold claims, and topic...

anyone else enjoying "Poo Girl" as much as me? Gotta love it when people's embarrassment, and humiliation becomes news worthy. I know what I'm getting for Christmas!

I'm a sucker for the lookers
Does anyone else find Mitchel Musso incredibly adorable? did anyone else have no idea he sings!?!? Downloading as I type. I've been listening to this pop act called NeverShoutNever. Its pretty much a vegan dude named Chris who can appreciate a squishy song. I got into his music while awake at 7:00am watching MTVU's Sunblock Performances. He performed so charmingly that I ran downstairs immediately and downloaded his EP, Me & My Uke. This is him performing "Happy" his latest single on the MTVU Sunblock tour.


http://www.myspace.com/nevershoutnever

I think I'm going to attempt to get an interview with him, before he gets so huge it becomes impossible. Speaking of interviews I've been trying to set up an interview with Fall Out Boy. Why? because I think a quality interview conducted by the fans is well over do. Anyone agree? if you do, you should tell me what to ask. I'm attending their supporting show in West Palm Beach, emailed their sit-in publicist, and no reply. [Insert tired groan hear]

School started... alright school! wooo!... no. Its cutting into my reading time to do all this God flippin' home work. My History teacher said he wants to get us to present times.... how cute. My Science teacher reminds me a George Lopez (talk about a distraction) and my Acting teacher came up on stage with me while play Freeze and Justify and we acted out a scene where I am giving him a prostate exam. Lucky!

Everyone enjoy the week to come. Labor day, Monday, all I'm going to be doing is labor. Trying to get ahead in school, keep honing the musical craft, and keep up internet life. *sigh* life's good.

question for commenters: What do you think of Twitter? fun, annoying, the scum of the Earth? What about NeverShoutNever? Do you want his hair, even though your a chick? Ever knew Mitchel sang? do you think he's worth a listen?

P.S Mitchel Musso not that great. Definitely not pumped for a second listen. Why? Why the pretty one? why not the obnoxious star of the show that wore a dress my movie would consider to the MTV Movie Awards and screamed "I'm on a boat!"? *sigh*

with stalker qualities from the smallish wave
lilwave //(^.\\\

"A Change In Science" An Essay On Dissection By The Smallish Wave (print and send to your teacher / principal!)

Dissection in Our Classrooms

A San Francisco Science fair recently awarded a junior high student whose science project consisted of cutting the head off a live frog with a pair of scissors to see whether or not a frog swims better with or without their head. What did this young science explorer learn? Other than “Frogs will not swim with brains missing unless harassed. Frogs swim better with their heads in tact”. I think he learned that it is O.K to treat another living creature as if it didn’t have feelings, he learned to disrespect life. I think he learned to desensitize himself from that frogs spilt skin, the blood on his hands, and the site of a mangles spinal cord. I wouldn’t call that better than a classic photosynthesis project. Obviously, the judges disagree with me, for they awarded the boy for his contribution to the onward march of science, and predicted great things for his future.

This isn’t the first time a student would be encouraged to do such a thing “for science”. Millions of animals are dissected every year in today’s classrooms.

What’s sad about this story and not spoken about enough is the long term effect. If allowed to harm animals, children are more likely to be violent later in life. It seems harmless, but take a deeper look. Educational curricula should foster environmental stewardship and compassion for life; dissection encourages neither; animal life is devalued and treated as expendable. Like an object. This is the door to cruelty; we see it with racism, homophobia, and sexism. People justify violence in their heads against a certain group by first viewing the person as lesser than. And it doesn’t stop here. Today it’s just their biology class, tomorrow it’s their wife. Not to say that dissection makes wife beaters, but there is no doubt that there are mixed messages regarding how people treat any living thing in school, and in the media. Animal cruelty, like any other violence or brutality, should never be attributed to a stage of development.

This seems like backtracking to me, taking two steps forward and one step back. When we were in elementary school the goal was to help children develop the empathy for other creatures that prevents animal cruelty and promotes responsible care of pets, which in turn will get them to take care of themselves and others better. Good chances are you have heard of the humane reading volunteers from the organization United Animal Nations who teach students to view animals as a part of the family and teaches basic pet communication. This is only one of the many programs, and campaigns designed by caring organizations and non-profits who try to develop compassion in the next generation. My goal is to not let their efforts be made in vain, or even tampered with deliberately.

But dissection is a big business. Millions of animals are killed every year for educational purposes, many of which are collected from their natural habitat, effecting the delicate balance of ecology, and biodiversity. It’s an ugly truth, and not a pretty picture. Rats made squirming movements while being embalmed. Cats prodded roughly into crowded gas chambers, having their throats slit, or being drowned in Mexico. Live frogs piled into cloth bags for days or weeks. The few who are raised in captivity aren’t any luckier; they spend their short lives in a plastic container, no other purpose but to die for a student who won’t ever appreciate them for the free lives they led.

With alternatives ranging from 3-D computer models, plasticized specimens, and clay models, dissection seems archaic, and outdated. Since science teachers have found success with computerized three-dimensional virtual dissections why end a life? like having a dog cry in discomfort as he has cosmetics tested on him to end up euthanized, I have to ask, is it really worth it? and is this really appropriate for High School Students?

An example of the objectification of animals was displayed in the form of a dead frog, thrown from the second floor, to the front doors of Sunset last year. When the teacher delivered to the class this news, I frowned and said “See?” He explained to me that dissection is something the students look forward too; it’s something exciting for them. My stomach turned. For those who think this way, I offer my life philosophy. Live your life to the fullest, but never at the expense of others. Lead as harmless an existence as possible.

What was surprising about my biology class last year was that I was not given an alternative to dissection. My teacher allowed me to sit in another class, and wait it out.

The purpose of me spending a night or three of my summer writing this letter was to solemnly ask that dissection change in Sunset. Ideally, I’d like that section of our lesson completely abolished. Maybe replaced with a comprehensive, modern sex ed section, extending the otherwise week we spend watching a bunch of crappy videos for elementary kids. Since the need to raise Neanderthals is pretty much over; I think it would be cool to raise kids who use condoms this decade. With budget cuts, it’s essential that we get our priorities straight. If not, than at least granted to the advanced science students only. The kids who actually have more of a chance, and an interest in pursuing a career in science. Also, enforce that alternatives be offered to those who are uncomfortable with dissection.

I think I care enough about our school, tomorrow’s adults, and the future of animal welfare to write this. Let’s see if you care enough to listen. I assume that we share a common goal to foster a respect and love for animals in Sunset, I’m confident that you will seriously consider my request. Thank you for your time.

P.S. "I hold that the more helpless a creature, the more entitled it is to protection by man from the cruelty of man."
-Mahatma Gandhi

With hopes for a compassionate future from the smallish wave,
Paola M Paniagua
lilwave123@aol.com

http://www.all-creatures.org/articles/ar-should.html

http://www.hsus.org/animals_in_research/animals_in_education/dissection_campaign_packet.html

http://www.uan.org/

The Same Old School-Year Resolution

Been listening to MTV's Back To School Playlist while avoiding the thought that school is coming up. Oxymoron? I think not! I start my 11th year in high school, and my second year at Sunset in 2 1/2 weeks. Its exciting. Not for any typical reasons, I just like staying productive, and I'm not good at staying in charge of that. It’s good to see people I like, and converse. It’s nice to be around people smarter than me, i.e teachers. It’s exciting because it is something new. But somehow, this time of year always brings a weird feeling in my stomach. A guttural rumble of unsure thoughts.
If you've read some of this blog, you might have picked up on the fact that I don't mix well with... well I call them normies. Those people, who's interests aren't very interesting, who's minds are fueled on a different goo that makes me yawn and yarn. I have friends, a hand full. But I always find time to feel lonely in the back of a classroom, or on the odd Saturday night. I guess there’s a part of me that has always and will always want to be like them. A lot of people understand what I'm saying, and diagnose the problem as a self-esteem issue. I concur!... what now?
They say talk to people, join clubs, strike up random conversations, and I always do. I make jokes about the uniform and how long I can get away with not wearing it, strike up conversations with people sitting at my lunch table, and I even tried to get my school to do a Battle of The Bands. But here is the year problem, I think: I make excuses; I get annoyed easily, and give up.
I want to make a promise to myself this year. I'm going to try harder to make friendships form, and make current bonds grow. I promise to not get discouraged so easy, and not get hurt when they seem to not be interested. I'm going to try to be more fearless.
Now I have made similar promises before, kind of how a druggie makes a promise to quite. Its more for the comfort of knowing I tried. This time I'm making this pact with more of a soft hold. I'm going to let it flow, and see if it works, and not be angry at myself if it doesn't. A more loving approach to the same old bullshit. In an over-stuffed school of thousands, there’s gotta be one expectable person. I'll keep you guys posted.

Question for the commenters: Are you also making moves to see a change this year? What’s your School-Year resolution?

Daisy of Love: An Example of Objectification

All us reality TV junkies remember Daisy, yes? The tiny rocker who competed for Brett Micheals c*ck. Well she's back! Now with her own show.

Daisy let Fox, the smooth talkin' hair dresser, stay after he told her he had… or has…. or had a girlfriend before he left to be on her show. Daisy, and her silicon valley, forgave Fox, and did not eliminate him on the grounds that

A: She did the same thing to Brett Micheals. She admitted that she broke up with her boyfriend, but still lived with him… and still slept in the same bed… hmmm.
B: She has the hots for Foxy, and his sexy theme music.

Not only is this wrong because 1) it is implying that she is a slave for her attraction to Fox, and 2: because it gives the idea that going with a man who is willing to walk out on his girlfriend to feel up on this delicate flower is o.k. Tell you the truth, I couldn’t care less. Hey I think the chick is cute in all her “I’m sooooo punk ROCKER!” glory, I mean who am I to judge the 20-something? But I have a big problem with the message that is being sent to the young, and more impressionable women of tomorrow.

The show, like all “love” shows revolve around this concept of “competing to win” someone’s love. Where a girl like Daisy plays a sexy sex kitten ready to find love in a sea of horny men. The difference of a Love show with a male star, is that Daisy is obliged to give Tool Box, the exotic dancer, a second chance after belting out “All we need are some b*tches!” on the first night. While Brett Micheals, the star of 3 Love shows, is not.

Another point that urks me about this show. Women, as well as men have stereotypes that harm us. Me, being a natural blonde, does not appreciate how finely Daisy fits into the blonde bimbo stereotype. Other than her over the top breasts, I would hope that the show would take a second to show how intelligent and sophisticated Daisy is. Wait, what? The point is the show obsessed way too much on her sexuality.

In the “Daisy of Love” show, Daisy is portrayed as an innocent, sex object that these men are fighting to win like a trophy. This deeply saddens me, because we live in a world where violent crimes against women are an every day. Women are taken advantage of, and I don’t mean to say it is all little Daisy’s fault, but there is NO DOUBT that the way women are portrayed in media has an effect on how every day women are treated. VH1 is not taking into consideration, what a young girl would think watching that show, and what impression we are leaving on young boys. Violence starts with people seeing others as objects.

In refute to that, many people would say “well it’s the parents fault”. Instead of playing the blame game, lets take into consideration that the vast majority of parents don’t care. Why should they? If the general public don’t either. It’s partly caused by immaturity, as So many teenage and unplanned pregnancies happen today, more than ever. But it’s mostly because of ignorance. Too many people say that advertising is just selling products.

Why would a women support this though? Why would they put themselves out as Daisy and so many women do? Again, most of it is ignorance. Most of it is low self esteem. A lot of it is rooted at birth. Women are socially conditioned to think a certain way. To not take up to much room, to not make too much noise. To keep an image of perfect beauty, something that we are taught we can achieve by buying the right products or knowing all the tricks. Our bodies are constantly scrutinized and pieced apart by the media. A poll was taken that showed that most woman feel like beauty is an obligation not a right. How can this be? That we can so out rightly be put as “objects”. Well most women don’t really feel obliged to speak up. Wonder why.

I’ve pondered this for ages, and will probably continue. Look forward to more blogs on this subject.

To learn more about Woman's image in the media, watch Killing Us Softly by Jean Kilbourne, probably the most comprehensive source for citizens on the subject of medias appearance.

The Believers Never Die Tour Part Duex 4/21/09 Pompano Beach

From 6:30 to 12:00 or so
Bill: Hey Monday, Cobra Starship, Metro Station, All Time Low, Fall Out Boy (in that order) and 50 Cent on select dates (but not on mine)
Recommendations: if your open to pop look up Hey Monday's debut, Hold On Tight (released on Decaydance records). If your a good old pop-punker look into All Time low. video

----

I sat in the car, and took off my headphones. We had just arrived, and I was listening to Hey Monday on the hour or so drive. I thought "hey! someone was blasting the same song I was listening to on my headphones!". As I bobbed along to 'Obvious' I noticed it wasn't a car that was blasting it, it was the Pompano Amphitheater, Hey Monday was on! Damn, getting lost made us 20 minutes late! As I hurried my sister, Choly, and my brother, Andrew, to the seats I noticed... they sound amazing. The only thing I have negative to say about Hey Monday is the fact that they didn't play longer. Lead vocalist, Cassadee Pope sounded just like she does on record, but better. They kept a good groove. My respect meter, especially for Cassadee, raised a few notches for putting on such a performance. Hey Monday is definitely one of those bands people are just naturally optimistic about, but they are proving themselves a serious band. I got as close as I could, and watched the rest of their set. The songs they played while I was there in order...
Obvious
Run, Don't Walk
How You Love Me Now
Homecoming
They ended their act with a bang, and I went to the little ladies room. I emerged from the bathroom and picked out the T-shirt my brother promised me because it wasn't enough to just buy me and my sister's tickets (and get her buzzed up like he promise) he sealed the deal with a trip to the merch booth.
Next up was Cobra Starship. I have to tip my hat to Cobra Starship, because they really rocked it. I'm not familiar with their music as much as I wished to be, but hate it or love it, you had to dance. They made it hot, and that's saying something, sense I live in Florida. I know what hot it, and they made it hot. Former Midtown bassist/lead vocalist Gabe Saporta, who formatted Cobra talked to us in a very personal way, even speaking a little Spanish. He told us to follow our dreams, and other ideologies. Owww, its going to be fun being on that stage one day. "hi mom!"
third to the plate was Metro Station. Another band that I was very optimistic about, but for good reason. Their record has a reoccurring theme of women age, and sexual underage behavior. They did not disappoint in that field. Popularized mainly by their co-frontman Trace Cyrus, older brother of Hannah Montana star Miley Cyrus, and Mason Musso, older brother of Mitchel Musso from Hannah Montana fame as well, I can kinda imagine the band formatting on the set of the show. Trace: hey do you like sexy, sexy ladies? Mason: hell yea! your creepy... I like it ;). Now look, I'm not one of those people who hate on bands because its popular to, or because they're the odd band on the tour. I came in there an gave them a fare shot, but it seemed like they where best for giving us a laugh. Through the whole set I kept a tally of how many things creeped me out about them. I counted 14. One of witch was the amount of times Trace said 'sexy'. "sexy, sexy, sexy, ladies!".... metro, metro, metro, station? "Florida, Florida, Florida, Florida!".... O.o please stop. But I digress, besides the creepiness that this band alluded, this band got me to dance... a little. ONLY A LITTLE! if it wasn't for the creepy question "how many girls are seventeen here?" I would have actually jumped a bit during Seventeen Forever. Everyone did an awkward twisting movement during "Shake It" the song I am most familiar with. It was the kind of maneuver you would find at a 7 year old's birthday party. We had a couple laughs, and waited for All Time Low.
I was very excited for All Time Low. So when they came on I was definitely on top of my chair. They blew everyone's teeth in, and something funny happened. During Dear Maria, Count Me In, the last song of their set, I accidentally elbowed my brother's head below. I hugged his head from atop the chair, and I think singer Alex Gaskarth chuckled at me. It would make sense because 1: I was the only albino at the show, let alone light haired girl, and 2: I was the only albino (or anyone for that matter) standing on my chair. Their act was chockfull of fresh fun.
By this point, I was ready.... I mean, I was ready for Fall Out Boy. We all where. I hurried to the bathroom, and sprinted back to my seat to jiggle with excitement. The lights shut off, and screams spread across the audience as everyone hurried to their feet. I jumped on top of my chair and anticipated it... hold on.... its coming....
"I'm coming apart at the seams..."
AHHHH!!!
"pitching myself for leads in other people dreams"
*feels heart fill*
"buzz, buzz, buzz..."
DOC! THERE'S A HOLE WHERE SOMETHING WAS!
Oh man, I went ape shit. This was the set...
Disloyal Order of Water Buffaloes
Thriller
A Little Less Sixteen Candles, A Little More "Touch Me"
Sugar, We're Going Down
This Ain't A Scene, It's An Arms Race
I Don't Care
Headfirst Slide Into Cooperstown On A Bad Bet
I Slept With Someone In Fall Out Boy and All I Got Was This Stupid Song Written About Me
Grand Theft Autumn
What A Catch, Donnie
(Coffee's For Closers)
The Patron Saint Of Liars And Fakes
She's My Winona
Beat It
America's Suitehearts
Thnks Fr Th Mmrs
Tiffany Blews
Dance, Dance
Saturday
Some of the time in between was spent showing a fake movie they made, that you can watcha bit of here, along with some footage of Mr Baby Bronxy paints (look at those cheeks! om nom nom nom!). They had costumes on (witch you can see in the video update I linked you to) to make some sort of statement. They where all in monkey suites, and Patrick had white hair. Hey! that's my job! I personally was not able to see the video, but my brother described it to me. It gave me some time to rest my legs from standing on top of that damn chair. Its as if it wasn't made for teenage Banshees. I had many cathartic moments during their set, and danced my face off. I think it pissed a lot of people off that the band took so much time making this 'statement' about the government, and human issues, and I was to at first. But Pete explained why they felt it was their responsibility to, and I could understand. It tied into he theme of their act on this tour. And I think they pulled it off without looking like COMPLETE snobby ass-wipes. Other than the fanservice shots of Pete without his shirt, it was saying something. I don't wont to give away to much, but yes, it was worth the money. Patrick actually talked guys! (wah!). Before She's My Winona, Pete handed it over to Patrick to be "teacher for a day". He taught us the vocal melodies between "the thunder!"s.
For those who don't know, the show was moved to Pompano from Boca because the city of Boca Raton felt "There have been known disturbances associated with one of the bands, “Fall Out Boy”. We anticipate the concert will generate security challenges” (read the original blog here). So one of the conditions of playing in Pompano Beach Amphitheater was that the bands had to keep it clean. All the bands joked, and tested the limits. All Time Low gave us a moment to scream out our pent up obscurities in one big "mega swear". The way Fall Out Boy rebelled, was playing a game of fill in the blank. Pete gave us a word and we guessed what was after. "mother _____, son of a ______, Dance, _____". And we all went... ohhhhh I get it, and head-banged on.
All together, this was an awesome night. and traffic wasn't that bad neither!
I want to thank my bro, he actually said that he really loved watching me and thinking "I made that" (in reference to my happiness... ya nasties). Choly, thank you too, cause you drove all that way, and did not say a peep about it... well not at first anyways. Apparently I was radiating happy all the way to my bed, where I rested my sore muscles.
Of course, I want to also thank the bands. Hey Monday, Cobra Starship, Metro Station, All Time Low, and Fall Out Boy for taking all these great acts on the road, and creating, what I think, is the best bill this spring if you want to boogie your nuggets off.




till next time,
from the smallish wave
lilwave //(^.\\\

....P.S, my sister kept saying Fall Out Boys the whole way there O.o IT'S NOT PLURAL! GAH! Dx

Does Vegetarianism Make You 'Nicer'?

To help answer this burning question I brought in a good vegan friend of mine, a student of psychology at Rutgers University in New Jersey, and an avid boardie on Skeleton Crew.
Ever sense Vegetarianism has been a movement there have been statements that are hard to prove. One of these being that meat eating can be linked to beast like behavior and violent acts. In a world were fear rain, past vegetarians have pointed to meat eating for making people warlike and vicious. In the Victorian days, British vegetarians warned their fellow countrymen that meat could spark animal passions, and lewd appetites. The general idea seems to be that one violent act leads to another, and if someone is able to desensitize themselves to the suffering of an innocent creature, what wont they do?
“While it is actually a fact that there is a strong correlation between cruelty to animals and cruelty to humans, eating meat is a gray area.”
Amanda adds
“Because people who eat meat are so far removed from the process that put the food on their plate, chances are that most of them are not naturally cruel. This is why animal rights organizations try so hard to show people what the process looks like. The assumption is that human nature is such that once aware of an injustice they are causing, most humans have too developed a moral sense to ignore it.”
Maybe meat makes you more likely to cause havoc, for one belief is that when animals die in fear, we suffer.
“I wanted to mention. I wish I could attribute this belief properly, but the source (either a tribe or religion) eludes me. Anyway, it stated that when you kill an animal in terror and eat it, you are eating the animal's terror. Scientifically, it does make sense. When you're afraid, hormones like adrenaline start pumping. If an animal dies while producing those hormones, might they remain in its body? If so, might they be transferred to another animal who ate it? Anyway, my idea is that if, say, adrenaline, could transfer to a human being, it seems at least somewhat possible that it would create some kind of secondary fight-or-flight response, which would enable enhanced aggression and such. Nearly all animals killed for food today die in terror and not at all peacefully, so this is another possibility.”
As one vegetarian put it, "I eat everything that nature voluntarily gives; fruits, vegetables, and the products of plants. But I ask you to spare me what animals are forced to surrender." Many young people who switch to a vegetarian diet proclaim that they feel "gentler." They feel a sort of inner peace rise in them. Besides, who could be gentler than Mahatma Gandhi, the great Indian teacher of nonviolence and peace who was a fervent vegetarian and whose views on animals for food was an intricate part of his nonviolent philosophy. But Adolf Hitler, the man responsible for one of the biggest wars in history and the murders of millions in an attempt to "purify" the world, was also a vegetarian. Actually, that quote about nature's voluntary gifts was his.
“First of all, I've gotta bust the Hitler argument because it's simply ridiculous. It's just another of those lame excuses meat-eaters use to defend their crude way of life: "Well, if vegetarians are so great, then why was Hitler one?". “
Amanda writes in refute to the Adolf Hitler argument.
“Technically, Hitler was not actually a vegetarian because he did eat meat sometimes. Also, no one really knows why he was mostly a vegetarian. Some people say he loved animals, but the general consensus is that he did it for health (and empowerment) reasons. If that is true, then it would be illogical to compare him with modern vegetarians who do it out of respect for animals. At any rate, you can never base an assumption about an entire group of people on such a pathological person as Hitler. He had mad issues, and that's that. I'd put money on the fact that they had nothing to do with his diet, meat or not.”
Its true that Hitler occasionally ate meat during the 1930s, and back then people were vegetarian more for health reasons than animal advocacy.
There are many kind gentle people who do eat meat. A group that comes to mind is the Eskimo’s. Known for their hospital, and kind ways, Eskimos eat mostly (if not solely) meat and fish.
“I hate to burst the bubble, but the probability is that the correlation of vegetarians and kindness (which I have found to be true for the most part) is based on kind people becoming vegetarians, not on vegetarians becoming kind. See the difference? It's very unlikely that if you put a serial killer or abusive person on a vegetarian diet, they would suddenly become a better person. It's equally unlikely that if you took a naturally caring person off their current vegan diet, they would become selfish and rude. In our society, because vegetarians make up such a small percentage of people, it is generally only the most compassionate people who care enough to withstand social pressures and go out of their way to find plants to eat. (Now that more people are realizing the health benefits of the diet, I am sure the correlation is actually weakening.) Thus, very nice people are the ones who tend to become vegetarian, so it may often seem that being vegetarian causes people to be nice, but this is unlikely to be a cause-effect relationship because there are evil vegetarians and extremely nice omnivores.”
It is impossible to prove that eating meat makes you violent, but what about a vegetarian diet making people nicer? True, many vegetarians are peace loving individuals who have dedicated their lives to leading a responsible and harmless existence. Many hope that they are setting an example for the new age of sanity and unity, and that we should live in harmony with nature and animals. But could it be that giving up animal flesh awakens some sort of ‘inner’ peace or satisfaction?
“Putting that aside, I was told that many people claim to feel gentler after becoming vegetarian. I believe that those people truly are gentler. My guess would be that very compassionate people feel a sense of dissonance between their beliefs and actions when they eat meat. After giving it up and releasing that dissonance, it would make sense for someone to become less irritable and more willing to love others. Sometimes just feeling like a better person can make you a better person, too. Another aspect is that vegetarians tend to seek out other vegetarians, who would likely be just as compassionate. Being around others who share your beliefs strongly reinforces them. When you eat vegan meals with a friend and discuss animals, your compassion for animals and other people can become stronger. You will feel even more of a pull to take action, and when you take that action, your beliefs will, again, be reinforced. This is a well known psychological phenomenon, so I believe it is probably at work here.”
People have raised testimonies of vegetarianism being a more peaceful state of mind for centuries. Another vegan friend named Derwenna explains…
“I noticed feeling more peaceful when I became vegan. I think it's to do with doing less harm, knowing I didn't make any animals be killed so that I could eat and knowing it's less damaging to the environment. That probably sounds like a 'bunch of tree-huggin' hippy crap' but I definitely noticed a change.
I do sometimes get a bit overwhelmed when I realize I'm in the minority and I want the rest of the world to change more than I feel I can make it (usually when I see other people eat meat or talk about eating it) but I get over it and concentrate on what I am doing to make a difference.”
I can say from personal experience that I feel much happier with myself, and started striving to be more peaceful only after going vegetarian. Many of us are influenced by other people we idolize, and it links us to other ideas. The punk scene was a big influence on my decision, and many vegetarians that you may meet are ALSO pro peace. Vegetarianism really became a movement when tie-dye and Burning Man did, meaning the 1970s, when grass-loving carrot eaters roamed free. Since then, the number of vegetarians increased, as did meat consumption, but most of all an understanding of the meatless. Could people just be influenced by what "hippies" stood for?
Amanda wraps up
“To conclude, vegetarianism probably does not make you nicer per se. It's just that nice people are more likely to be vegetarians, and the association with the movement might reinforce a gentle disposition. However, we can't rule out the psychological effects of giving up something so terrible, nor the possibility of obscure biological influences. Ultimately, this is another unsolved issue and we all must draw our own conclusion.”
To hear more on Amanda’s thoughts on vegetarianism, go here